


Across the Universe

by Spiffymcgee



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-20
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2020-09-19 00:08:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20321815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spiffymcgee/pseuds/Spiffymcgee
Summary: Alex Manes has never been more scared.





	Across the Universe

Alex is pretty sure what he’s feeling is panic. 

_What did you expect_? He grumbles, aloud, pulling his truck to a stop just behind Michael’s. _Of course he’d be here. He lives here. You’re stupid and Michael hates you._

Alex spent three tours in the Middle East, being shot at, trying to sleep with explosions going off mere miles from his base. He’d lost a leg, for goodness sake. And all of that had scared him. But none of it had made him feel as scared as he feels right now. _Coward_.

He takes several long, deep breaths, mostly to calm himself down but also to stall for time. As if Michael doesn’t hate him enough. 

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, Alex grabs his backpack from the passenger’s seat and climbs out of his vehicle.

He’s at the door of Michael’s airstream, his hand lifted to knock when the door swings open and Michael steps out.

Michael almost drops whatever he’s holding (steak) when he notices Alex, but his (alien?) reflexes kick in and he catches the plate with everything on it before it can fall to the ground.

“Alex,” he says. He sounds… surprised? Angry, maybe. Annoyed, definitely.

They just stare at each other for a long moment. It’s been waaaay too long since Alex has seen Michael, way too long since they’ve breathed the same air. He tries to smile but he’s pretty sure it comes off more creepy than friendly. Alex isn’t sure he can pull off “friendly” around Michael. They’ve always been… more.

“What do you want, Alex?” Michael asks, finally, breaking the awkwardness and heading for the small grill he has set up nearby.

“Maybe I just missed you.” _Really, Alex? Flirting? And not just flirting… terrible flirting?_! He wants to mentally slap himself. No, he wants to _physically_ slap himself, but by some small miracle he manages to keep his hands tucked into his pockets.

Michael, good natured and wonderful as always, rolls his eyes, the corners of his mouth curling up just slightly. All hope is not lost then.

The silence that follows is quickly shattered by the hiss of raw meat being dropped onto the grill.

Michael waits as long as he can stand and then turns to Alex and finally, _FINALLY_, makes eye contact. (Ugh that look) “So why are you really here?”

Alex takes a deep breath. _Maintain eye contact_ he tells himself. _You can’t look away_. “I really did miss you,” he says.

“Well, I haven’t gone anywhere, Alex.”

“I know but…” he trails off. Sometimes, Alex isn’t as courageous as he wants to be. This is the hardest thing he’s ever done. 

Michael crosses his arms, turns his full body toward Alex and just waits. Patient and perfect as always. “You chose Maria… over me,” he says and it’s only sort of surprising when his eyes start to water. His eyes have always been the conduit for his emotions.

“I only went to her because I was hurt, Alex.” Alex starts to interrupt but Michael takes a step forward and holds up a hand to stop him. “No, listen. You rejected me, Alex. Over and over and when you came here that night I had so much hope. But then I remembered, all of the times before when you said everything I ever wanted you to say and then you rejected me the second it became too much for you.”

Oh yeah, full tears are running down Alex’s cheeks now. He knew he’d hurt Michael. He knew he had pushed away the love of his life over and over. But now, Alex isn’t scared anymore. This conversation is going to hurt, but he’s going to see it through to the end.

“I didn’t want to feel that again. So I went to Maria because she was safe. I wanted to forget all of this. I wanted to forget you. I just wanted… I don’t know Alex. I think I loved you too much. It just hurt to be around you.”

Alex waits for Michael to say something more but he doesn’t. He looks away (not really) to his grill and flips the meat over with the experience of a man who eats a lot of steak.

“I’m sorry,” Alex says. Michael doesn’t say anything. Just concentrates on his steak. But Alex knows he’s listening.

“I know I’ve been the worst human in the whole history of humans.” Michael smirks at that. Alex dares to hope. “I know that this… rift? I guess? Between us, is completely my fault. I know I’ve been stupid.” He takes a step toward Michael and when Michael doesn’t flinch, he takes another. “I don’t know how I can ever make it up to you other than…”

He drops his backpack from his shoulder and kneels down to rummage through it. _This is a terrible idea,_ he tells himself. _He’s going to leave you and never come back._ He glances up at Michael who has come within a few feet, always the curious one_. Like a cat_, Alex thinks. _A hot cat_. He shoos that thought away quickly because, what? Thank goodness Michael isn’t a mind reader.

He pulls out an object wrapped in a towel and hands it to Michael. He stands up, brushes off his knees while Michael just stares at him. “Just… open it,” Alex says.

When the…whatever it is… shiny, Alien, mineral _thing_, is finally unwrapped, Michael’s jaw drops.

“How did you-? Where did you-?” He trails off, his eyes leaving the_… thing_… and finally settling back on Alex. “Seriously…”

“It was hidden in a wall at my cabin.”

“And you just happened to what? Look in your wall?”

“It’s a long story, Michael.”

Silence falls over them again. “How long have you had this?”

Alex hesitates. This is the part of the conversation he’d been dreading. Just another reason for Michael to not trust him.

“I found it last year, but before you say anything, I was scared, Michael.”

“Of what?” He sounds annoyed. Angry. 

“I just…” _Moment of truth Alex, just get it out there. Whatever happens, happens_. “I had just lost you, Michael. And I didn’t want to lose you forever. As long as you were here, on _earth,_ I thought maybe…”

“Maybe what, Alex?”

“Maybe I still had a chance. If you leave Michael…If you leave me… “

Alex takes a chance. Maybe its adrenaline, maybe its hope, maybe desperation, but most likely all three. He reaches out to rest a hand on Michael’s arm. He closes his eyes, waiting for the rejection but it doesn’t come. 

When he opens his eyes, Michael is looking at him (Like that!) and Alex just breaks. The tears flow, he starts ugly sobbing and suddenly Michael has gathered him into a hug and it’s the best feeling in the world.

“Thank you.” Michael says quietly, his face buried in the curve of Alex’s neck. 

“I’m so sorry,” Alex says, pulling away. “For rejecting you, for making you feel like I didn’t want you, for keeping _that _from you.” He gestures at the thing and he’s still not sure what to call it. “I think this” He gestures between the two of them, “is huge. Bigger than us-“

“Cosmic,” Michael provides, flashing the first real smile Alex has seen since he showed up here.

“Cosmic,” Alex agrees. “And I do want you. I’m just stupid.”

“We both know that’s not true. The stupid part. You wanting me is pretty obvious.” He grins. Alex grins. “And it’s probably a bit more than well done but you’re welcome to stay for dinner.”

Michael turns back to the grill to try to salvage his meal. 

“We could go into town and get something,” Alex suggests.

Michael studies him carefully. Even tilts his head like a puppy. Alex swoons-internally, of course. “You really are serious about this," Michael says.

“I really am serious about _you_.”

“I didn’t really want to eat steak anyway.”

Alex smiles. Michael smiles. The cosmos smiles.

The End.


End file.
